The tears of a father
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) had a baby son named Ibrāhīm, born in Medina to Māriya. As an infant he was cared for by a wet-nurse, whose husband was a blacksmith named Abū Sayf. The Prophet would visit, pick his son up, kiss him and breathe in his smell.
Ibrāhīm fell ill before he was two. The Companion Anas ibn Mālik was there when the Prophet went to the blacksmith's house and found the boy breathing his last. The Prophet's eyes filled with tears.
ʿAbd al-Raḥmān ibn ʿAwf, surprised, said: even you, Messenger of God? The Prophet answered: this is mercy. Then he wept more and said: the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we say only what pleases our Lord. O Ibrāhīm, we are saddened by your parting. (Bukhari 1303)
Muslims return to this story often when someone dies. It shows that faith in al-Mumīt is not coldness. Grief is allowed; tears are called mercy. What changes is what we say: words that trust the One who gave the life and has now taken it back.
What each faith says
Judaism
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 · JPS 1917
Ecclesiastes says there is “a time to be born, and a time to die”. The Torah places death and life together in God's hand: “I kill, and I make alive; I have wounded, and I heal” (Deuteronomy 32:39).
When a Jew hears of a death, they traditionally say Barukh dayan ha-emet, “Blessed is the true Judge”. Mourners say the Kaddish, a prayer that does not mention death at all but praises God's name. The week of mourning, shiva, surrounds the bereaved with community.
Christianity
“Most certainly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
John 12:24 · WEB
Jesus used an image from farming: a grain of wheat must fall into the ground and die before it can bear fruit. Christians see death as real and sorrowful, but not as the last word.
At Christian funerals in Britain the words “earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust” are often said at the graveside, followed by a prayer of hope. Paul's question, “Death, where is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55), is spoken in that hope, which Christians root in the resurrection of Jesus.
Dame Cicely Saunders, a nurse and doctor of deep Anglican faith, opened St Christopher's Hospice in south London in 1967. Her care for the dying, body, mind and spirit together, began the modern hospice movement.
Islam
“Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Allah's and lo! unto Him we are returning.”
Qur'an 2:156 · Pickthall (1930)
The Qur'an always presents God's power over death alongside His power over life: “His is the Sovereignty of the heavens and the earth; He quickeneth and He giveth death; and He is Able to do all things.” (57:2, Pickthall). When Muslims hear of a death, they say: innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn, “Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Allah's and lo! unto Him we are returning.” (2:156, Pickthall).
Scholars warn against using this Name to frighten people. It speaks of the One who gives life a purpose and a limit, and who receives each soul with knowledge and mercy.
Same and different
All three faiths treat death as real, grief as right, and God as the Lord of both life and death. All three surround the bereaved with prayer and community. Christians speak of hope through the resurrection of Jesus; Jews and Muslims ground their hope in God's justice and mercy without that belief. Each has its own words for the moment of loss: the Jewish Barukh dayan ha-emet, the Muslim innā lillāhi wa-innā ilayhi rājiʿūn, “Who say, when a misfortune striketh them: Lo! we are Allah's and lo! unto Him we are returning.” (2:156, Pickthall), and the Christian “sure and certain hope”.
A moment to reflect
- How have you seen people in your community care for someone who is grieving?
- Have tears ever done you good?
- Why might it matter that life and death are in the same hand?
Watch
SciShow Kids on why leaves change colour and fall: a gentle, simple start for younger viewers.
A clear explanation of apoptosis, the programmed cell death that keeps our bodies healthy.
Do it together
In autumn, collect fallen leaves and look at the colours. Dig gently under a tree to find last year's leaves turning into soil. Talk about how endings and beginnings are linked, and keep it gentle for anyone recently bereaved.
Invite a rabbi, a minister and an imam, or members of each community, to share how their tradition cares for the dying and the bereaved. Make sure a local bereavement charity such as Cruse is on hand or signposted.
Go deeper
- St Christopher's: Dame Cicely Saunders · article
- Cruse Bereavement Support · article
- Qur'an 67:2 · scripture
- Ecclesiastes 3 (JPS 1917) on Sefaria · scripture
Others say it too
Beyond the Abrahamic family, other traditions reach for something like this. Each in its own words; we connect, never rank.
Hindu
Death am I, and Immortal Life I am.
Bhagavad Gita 9.19 (Krishna speaking) · tr. Edwin Arnold, The Song Celestial (1885)
Sources (5)
- Adults lose 50-70 billion cells a day to apoptosis: Wikipedia, Apoptosis (citing Karam 2009)
- St Christopher's Hospice founded 1967 by Cicely Saunders: St Christopher's Hospice
- Trees resorb nutrients before leaf fall: Royal Horticultural Society / general botany
- The death of Ibrāhīm: Sahih al-Bukhari 1303
- 'My mercy overpowers My anger': Sahih al-Bukhari 3194