If you have come to this page because someone you love has died, we are sorry. You may be angry with God, or unsure whether you believe in Him at all, or simply too tired to think. All of that is allowed. The traditions on this page have been where you are. Their scriptures are full of people who wept, protested and asked “why?” out loud.
We will not try to explain your loss away. Nobody can tell you why this person, at this time. What we can do is share the words people of each faith say when death comes, what they believe happens next, and what grief research has found actually helps. If you need to talk to someone now, there are free, confidential services listed at the bottom of this page.
“And he said; Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return thither; The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Job 1:21 · JPS 1917
Job says this on the day he hears that all his children have died. Before he speaks, he tears his robe and falls to the ground. These words are not calm acceptance; they are spoken in the dust. They are read at many Christian funerals, and Job goes on, later in the book, to argue with God at length. Both are part of grief.
What grief research has found helps
Grief is not a set of neat stages you pass through in order. In 1999 the researchers Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut described something closer to real life. People move back and forth between facing the loss, such as crying, remembering and visiting the grave, and getting on with life, such as working, sleeping and even laughing. Both are healthy. Taking breaks from grief is not betrayal.
Most bereaved people, in time, find a way to live with their loss. The psychologist George Bonanno found that many people are more resilient than they expect. But some grief stays very intense for a long time. Doctors now recognise “prolonged grief disorder”, which studies suggest affects around one in ten bereaved adults. It is not weakness, and it can be helped.
What helps most is remarkably similar across cultures: other people being present, rituals that give shape to the days, telling stories about the person, and time. Every faith tradition on this page builds its mourning around exactly those things.
What each faith says
Judaism
“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, And saveth such as are of a contrite spirit.”
Psalm 34:19 · JPS 1917
On hearing of a death, many Jews say Baruch dayan ha-emet, “Blessed is the true Judge”. Close mourners tear a garment, as Job did. After the funeral comes shiva, a week at home when neighbours bring food, then a gentler month, then a year. Mourners say the Kaddish prayer in community, and each year light a yahrzeit candle on the anniversary.
Jewish tradition does not ask mourners to pretend. The Psalms give words for sorrow and protest. They also hold out a promise that grief is not the end of the story: “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalm 30:6).
Christianity
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 · World English Bible (British Edition), public domain
Christians believe that death is not the end, because Jesus rose from the dead. That hope does not cancel grief. Paul told the early Christians not to grieve “like the rest, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13): he said grieve differently, not grieve less. Jesus himself said mourners would be comforted.
Christian funerals often begin with Jesus’ words “I am the resurrection and the life”, and many commend the person to God “in sure and certain hope”. Christians pray for the dead and remember them, especially at All Souls’ Day in November.
Islam
“We belong to God and to Him we shall return. O God, reward me for my loss, and give me something better in its place.”
Sahih Muslim 918 · our rendering
When Muslims hear of a death they say Innā lillāhi wa innā ilayhi rājiʿūn: “We belong to God, and to Him we return” (Qur’an 2:156). The words do not say God stole someone. They say that every life was on loan from Him, and that we will follow. The body is washed, wrapped and buried quickly, and the community prays the funeral prayer together.
Tears are not a lack of faith. When the Prophet Muhammad’s baby son Ibrahim died, he wept, and said the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we say only what pleases our Lord (Bukhari 1303). His wife Umm Salama, when her first husband died, was taught a prayer to say in loss, below. She later said God answered it.
Without religion
Many people with no religion find comfort in remembering a whole life well lived, and in the love that carries on in those left behind. Humanist celebrants lead many funerals in Britain, focused on the person’s story. Grief researchers describe “continuing bonds”: talking to the person, keeping their things, carrying on their causes. No faith is needed for that, and every faith does it too.
Sikhi
“Whatever has been created will pass away; everyone goes, today or tomorrow. Nanak: sing the praises of God, and let go of every other tangle.”
Guru Granth Sahib, ang 1429 (Guru Tegh Bahadur, salok 52) · our rendering
Sikhs try to accept death as part of bhana, God’s will, without despair. At a Sikh funeral the evening prayer Kirtan Sohila is sung, and many families hold a complete reading of the Guru Granth Sahib over the following days. Loud wailing is discouraged, but sorrow is not: the hymns are there to carry it. Sikhs believe the soul goes on, returning to God. Guru Tegh Bahadur’s words, near the end of the scripture, are plain and gentle about it.
Hindu traditions
“Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never; Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams!”
Bhagavad Gita 2:20 · Edwin Arnold, The Song Celestial (1885), public domain
Hindus believe the atman, the true self, does not die but moves on to a new life, or is released to God. The body is usually cremated, and the family keeps a period of mourning of about thirteen days, with prayers and offerings. Each year, during shraddha, many families remember their ancestors with food and prayer.
Beyond the Abrahamic faiths
A Buddhist teaching compares pain to an arrow. The first arrow is the loss itself, which no one can avoid. The second is the extra suffering we add by fighting against what has happened. Buddhists honour the dead with chanting, gifts to monks, and dedicating the good done in their name to them.
Same and different
The traditions disagree about what lies beyond death: resurrection, paradise, rebirth, release, return to God, or nothing at all. But on how to grieve they sound almost like one voice. Do not grieve alone. Let the community bring food and sit with you. Say words that give shape to what cannot be understood. Weep: Job did, David did, Jesus did, the Prophet Muhammad did. Remember the person, on the day and every year. And, for those who believe, hand the person back with thanks for the time you had. “The Lord gave” comes before “the Lord hath taken away”. A sceptic may say none of this answers why. That is true. Most believers would say the same, and still find that thanks for a life, even through tears, is the place where grief begins to heal.
A moment to reflect
- What words, prayers or songs have helped you, or someone you know, after a death?
- “The Lord gave” comes before “the Lord hath taken away”. What difference, if any, does that order make?
- Why do you think every tradition asks the community to bring food to mourners?
- How do you, or your family, remember people who have died?
Watch
Watch more
A Muslim telling
A Muslim telling
Do it together
If someone near you is bereaved, of any faith or none, bring simple food and stay only as long as they want. Ask about the person, by name. Every tradition here does this first.
On a birthday or anniversary, light a candle, cook the person’s favourite food and tell one story each. Children can draw a picture of a happy memory.
Compare Job 1:21, Qur’an 2:156 and the Sikh salok on ang 1429. What does each say about where a life comes from and goes? Handle gently: some pupils may be grieving.
Go deeper
- Cruse Bereavement Support: free helpline 0808 808 1677 (find out more) · find out more
- Child Bereavement UK: helpline 0800 02 888 40 (find out more) · find out more
- Samaritans: call 116 123, free, any time (find out more) · find out more
- Why do children suffer? (this site) · find out more
- Remembering together (this site) · find out more
- Sahih Muslim 918 (sunnah.com) · scripture
Sources (11)
- Job 1:21, Psalm 34:19, Psalm 30:6: Sefaria API, JPS 1917
- Matthew 5:4, 1 Thessalonians 4:13: WEB (British Edition) via bible-api.com
- Qur’an 2:156 (Pickthall (1930) where quoted): Quran.com
- Muslim 918: Umm Salama’s prayer in loss: sunnah.com
- Bukhari 1303: the Prophet weeps for Ibrahim: sunnah.com
- Guru Tegh Bahadur, salok on ang 1429 (jo upajio so binas hai): BaniDB / SikhiToTheMax
- Gita 2:20: Arnold, The Song Celestial, Project Gutenberg 2388
- Dual Process Model of coping with bereavement (Stroebe and Schut, 1999): Wikipedia, Dual process model of coping
- Prolonged grief disorder (ICD-11, DSM-5-TR); about 10% of bereaved adults: Wikipedia, Prolonged grief disorder (citing Lundorff et al. 2017 meta-analysis)
- Second arrow teaching (Sallatha Sutta, SN 36.6): SuttaCentral, SN 36.6 (Sujato translation)
- Helpline numbers: Cruse 0808 808 1677; Child Bereavement UK 0800 02 888 40; Samaritans 116 123: Each organisation’s home page, checked 8 Nov 2026
