In a minute
For Jews, the home is as holy as the synagogue: the table is like an altar, and the family's life is shaped by the commandments. A mezuzah on the doorpost holds the words of the Shema. The kosher food laws (kashrut) turn every meal into a moment of awareness. And the life cycle is marked by ceremonies that bind each person into the covenant: brit milah and baby namings at birth, bar and bat mitzvah at coming of age, the chuppah at a wedding, and shiva, seven days of community comfort, after a death.
What it is and how it's lived
The mezuzah
"And thou shalt write them upon the door-posts of thy house, and upon thy gates." (Deuteronomy 6:9, JPS 1917)
A mezuzah is a small parchment scroll, hand-written by a scribe, with the first two paragraphs of the Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4–9 and 11:13–21), rolled up in a case and fixed at an angle on the upper third of the right-hand doorpost of the front door and most rooms (not bathrooms). Many Jews touch it as they pass and kiss their fingers. It marks a Jewish home, and reminds those who live there of God's presence as they come and go:
"The LORD shall guard thy going out and thy coming in, From this time forth and for ever." (Psalm 121:8, JPS 1917)
Kashrut: the food laws
The Torah gives laws about what may be eaten (Leviticus 11; Deuteronomy 14):
- Animals: land animals that both chew the cud and have split hooves (cattle, sheep, goats, deer, but not pigs or rabbits); fish with both fins and scales (salmon, cod, but not shellfish); and listed birds (chicken, duck, turkey, but not birds of prey).
- Slaughter: animals and birds must be killed by a trained slaughterer (shochet) with a single swift cut of a perfectly sharp knife (shechitah), and blood is removed by soaking and salting, because "the blood is the life" (Deuteronomy 12:23).
- Meat and milk: three times the Torah says "Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother’s milk" (Exodus 23:19; 34:26; Deuteronomy 14:21). The rabbis understood this to forbid cooking or eating meat and dairy together. Kosher kitchens keep separate pots, plates and utensils, and people wait a set time (from one to six hours, by family custom) after meat before eating dairy. Foods that are neither, like fruit, vegetables, eggs and fish, are parev and go with either.
Kosher food is certified by recognised supervisors; in Britain many shops and restaurants display a certificate.
Why keep kosher? The Torah gives one reason: holiness.
"For I am the LORD your God; sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy; for I am holy" (Leviticus 11:44, JPS 1917)
Jewish thinkers have also seen in kashrut self-discipline, compassion for animals, and a way of making the everyday act of eating into a reminder of God. Blessings are said before and after food.
The life cycle
Birth. A baby boy is circumcised on the eighth day, if healthy, at a ceremony called brit milah ("covenant of circumcision"), carried out by a trained mohel, and given his Hebrew name. Baby girls are named in the synagogue, and many families now hold a celebration for a daughter (simchat bat).
"And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every male throughout your generations" (Genesis 17:12, JPS 1917)
Coming of age. At thirteen a boy becomes bar mitzvah, and at twelve (in Orthodox practice; often thirteen in Progressive practice) a girl becomes bat mitzvah, "son / daughter of the commandment": responsible for keeping the commandments (paraphrased; Mishnah, Avot 5:21; numbering varies). It happens automatically on the birthday; the celebration usually involves reading from the Torah or haftarah in synagogue, a speech on the week's portion, and a party. Girls' bat mitzvah ceremonies differ between communities; in Masorti and Progressive synagogues girls read from the Torah, as boys do.
Marriage. A Jewish wedding takes place under a chuppah, a canopy open on all sides, like Abraham's tent, a sign of the new home. The groom gives the bride a ring before witnesses; the ketubah, the marriage contract (since ancient times protecting the wife's rights), is read; seven blessings (sheva brachot) are sung over wine; and the groom breaks a glass underfoot, remembering the destruction of Jerusalem even at the happiest moment, while everyone shouts mazal tov! ("good luck!").
"the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride" (Jeremiah 33:11, JPS 1917)
Death and mourning. Judaism holds that the body, which housed a soul made in God's image, deserves honour. Burial is quick, usually within a day or two, in a plain coffin, after the body has been washed and dressed in simple white by a volunteer burial society. Mourners tear a garment or a ribbon (keriah) and say the blessing "Blessed is the true Judge". Mourning then moves through stages:
- Shiva ("seven"): for seven days after the funeral, close family stay at home, sit on low chairs, cover mirrors and receive visitors. Friends bring food, and prayers with a minyan are held in the house so that the mourners can say Kaddish.
- Shloshim ("thirty"): a lighter mourning for thirty days.
- For a parent, Kaddish is said for eleven months, and every year on the anniversary of the death (yahrzeit, Yiddish for "year-time") a candle is lit and Kaddish said.
Visitors to a shiva house traditionally wait for the mourner to speak first, and on leaving say: "May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." At the grave, Jews leave small stones, not flowers, as a sign that someone has visited and remembered.
"The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21, JPS 1917)
Its inner meaning
Jewish life brings holiness into ordinary places: the doorway, the kitchen, the birthday, the bedroom of a sick person, the graveside. The rabbis said that since the Temple was destroyed, a person's table atones like the altar, through the guests welcomed at it (paraphrased; Babylonian Talmud, Berakhot 55a). The home is a small sanctuary (mikdash me'at), and parents are its first teachers.
Key texts
Hebrew:
וּכְתַבְתָּם עַל־מְזוּזֹת בֵּיתֶךָ וּבִשְׁעָרֶיךָ
"So teach us to number our days, That we may get us a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12, JPS 1917)
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die" (Ecclesiastes 3:1–2, JPS 1917)
Common misunderstandings, answered gently
- "Kosher means blessed by a rabbi." Kosher means "fit": food that meets the Torah's laws on species, slaughter and the separation of meat and milk. Supervisors check this; no blessing makes food kosher.
- "Bar mitzvah is a ceremony that makes a boy an adult." The age itself brings responsibility; the celebration marks it. A Jew who never had a ceremony is still bar or bat mitzvah.
- "Jewish mourning is gloomy." Shiva is designed to surround mourners with community at the moment they most need it, and then to lead them gently back into life.
Across the movements
Orthodox and Masorti Jews keep kashrut in full; many Reform and Liberal Jews keep some form of it, for example avoiding pork and shellfish, or choosing ethically. Orthodox weddings and conversions follow traditional halakhah; Progressive communities have created new ceremonies (for example for baby girls and adult bat mitzvah) and generally give women and men equal roles. All movements keep shiva and Kaddish, and most bury rather than cremate (Orthodox Judaism forbids cremation; some Progressive Jews accept it).
Reflection
A mezuzah reminds people who they are each time they cross the threshold. What would you want to be reminded of every time you walked through your front door?
In the other traditions
- Christianity: most Christians have no food laws, following the early Church's decision (Acts 15); Christian life is marked by baptism, confirmation, marriage and funerals, and Jesus himself was circumcised on the eighth day (Luke 2:21).
- Islam: Muslims eat halal food, which shares much with kosher (no pork; blood drained; a swift cut to the throat; God's name said over the animal); boys are circumcised; a Muslim's funeral is also quick and simple; and mourners are visited for three days.
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